Sleep on it

That's one thing that is true. If you sleep on something, you'll be more clear about it then. I've done it. I'm still not ok with what happened. Not the fact in itself, but I still blame you. 

I said I'll do it when I'll be ready. I wasn't on that day, and in one way you imposed it to me. All I wanted was a moment alone with you, and I almost had to beg for it. 

I guess what I'd like is you to recognize that none of this was ideal, and that you put me in a situation even if I warned you before about it. 

My bestfriends can ask me anything, apart from doing something I refused, and also none of you are allowed to be sad. I can't fake my emotions, it's one thing I'll refuse to do no matter what.

So for now it feels like something is broken. And nothing was broken before, I think that's why it's that hard. 

I hope it'll soon fly away. Life goes on, I do too, but this is here and I need to say it.